Wednesday, February 01, 2012
It’s always a relief to make it through January. Even though the weather has been better than any other Winnipeg winter I’ve lived through, the blahs are still setting in. I feel unmotivated, cranky, irritable, fat, lazy, and unfocused. And those are the good things. I’ve been trying to think of things that would brighten my life, but they all involve a lot of money and a new swimsuit. I read in a magazine that if you’re in a slump you should plan one thing each day to look forward to. They had examples like putting fresh sheets on your bed, trying a new recipe, or going for a walk. I would be dreading those things all day – laundry, cooking, and exercise?! My looking-forward-to things would involve chocolate fountains, sending the kids off to camp, and meeting Johnny Cash (I know he’s no longer with us - these are all equally realistic).
You always hear how exercise improves your energy and mood, but I’ve got to disagree. I’ve been working out regularly with Jillian, going to zumba, and walking Neve to school. Some days I walk back and forth four times (morning, lunch, back after lunch, and hometime), which adds up to over three miles. I don’t know if it counts as exercise when I’m standing there half the time waiting while Neve makes a snow angel or makes her stuffed dog make a snow angel or just plops down for no reason. However, I think I make up for it when I have to give her a piggy back ride because she just won’t budge or when I listen to her fussing for seven minutes straight about her ¾ length sleeves riding up in her coat sleeves and using all my self control not to freak out, or when I do freak out. That burns a lot of calories, but it doesn’t improve anyone’s mood. The children are all trying to avoid me these days. Chloe has never done so much studying up in her room before.
The guy who did our home energy evaluation (one of the hoops we must jump through to get our furnace rebate) a few weeks ago said our house was tighter “than an R2000 home built last week.” I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I felt proud until I saw his solemn expression. It turns out that’s not a good thing because we need more fresh air. I’m getting mixed signals – in one breath he tells us to put insulators under our plug covers and seal up the attic hatch, and in another, he tells us we need to buy a $1200 heat exchanger to bring in more outside air. I figure it will all even out if we do nothing. Maybe more fresh air would make me cheerful and energetic, but I can always open a window. I probably won’t though.
You know it’s bad when the only bright spot in my day so far has been my trip to the Brady Landfill. We’ve had an old broken TV sitting in the back lane since November 2010. Every week I’ve been hoping that THIS would be the week the garbage dudes would feel like throwing it in their truck. After sixty or so weeks, I started to accept that this would never happen. When our neighbours started making comments about it, I felt the time had come. I waited another month or two just in case the garbage guys would change their mind, but today was the day I finally took it to the dump. I’d never been there before. If I’d known all the things my eyes would see, I would have gone much sooner. That is some place. Mountains of trash, desks, couches, mattresses, bookshelves, tire piles, and so many bicycles I thought I was in Amsterdam. Except I hope Amsterdam smells prettier. But my favourite thing of all was a dead cow lying in the residential waste section. Maybe it was just sleeping. It looked peaceful and serene all covered in hoar frost. You’re lucky I didn’t have my camera with me because I would have gone crazy. I’m going to look for excuses to go to the dump from now on ... definitely one to add to my looking-forward-to list.