Last
Monday, my cousin and dear friend Teresa passed away. She collapsed near the end of her daily early
morning run and couldn’t be resuscitated.
All week, I – along with everyone who knew her - have been struggling to
comprehend how someone so vibrant and full of life could be gone just like
that. I know it happens all the time,
but it shouldn’t have happened to Teresa. She was the life of the party, the
centre of attention, a presence in every room she entered, and always had
something funny to say about everything.
She was a wife and mother to three beautiful children. My heart aches for them and I feel so sad for
the huge hole she has left in their lives and many others. I know that my loss is nothing compared to
that of her husband, kids and family, but I’m devastated at losing such a close
cousin-friend (I never know whether to call her my cousin or my friend, so I
sometimes combine them). A lot of you
knew her, but for those you didn’t, here’s the story of our cousin-friendship.
I was born
five months before Teresa and it always pleased her greatly that she was
younger than me. When we were little,
Teresa lived about 20 minutes away (which was far when you live in the
country), so I didn’t see her as often as I would have liked. When she was 13, her father passed away
suddenly and shortly afterward, she and her family moved closer to us. I was so happy when she started going to my
school in grade 8, and we became very close.
She lived just over three miles away and we would bike or drive our dirt
bikes to each other’s houses. We spent
so much time together - driving around in her old green pickup truck, going to
the Morris Super Variety store for slurpees and to rent movies, watching
satellite TV in her basement, camping at Falcon Lake
with her sisters, hanging out at school, going to the city together, and lots
of other things I can’t mention here. We’ve
shared a lifetime of inside jokes and experiences that no one else would find
as funny or as interesting as we do.
After high school, Teresa and I stayed close. We were each other’s maids of honour, and we hung out a lot with two other cousins and their spouses. We all went camping at
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All of us looking awesome in Toronto in 1996 |
Ever since we moved back, we’ve seen each other regularly. When our kids were little, we’d get together during the day for play dates and swimming lessons and lunch. We’d also get together as families on weekends and she was always the leader, the planner, and the organizer. She booked our annual fall weekends in
Teresa loved being the first to wear a new fashion, download a new song, try a new trendy restaurant or see a movie on opening day. She was beautiful and rocked big earrings, a black leather jacket and her aviators. She had style and the confidence to pull it off. She had determination and passion; she got up early almost every single morning even in the dark dead of winter to go for a run, followed by an online workout (or maybe she did the workout first, and then the run?). She ran a half marathon many years ago, long before it became popular.
She was a hard worker and involved in so many things. She was creative, she loved efficiency, and people who said yes. For my 40th birthday party, she made Dale lists of what he needed to do to prepare. It was a long, detailed list, with everything from renting dishes to making sure there was a big rug on the floor by the front door for people to put their shoes on. She baked the cakes and brought food and flowers and helped make it a great party. She baked my birthday cake almost every year and always gave me fabulous presents. In my heightened awareness this week, I’ve realized she’s given me a lot of things that I use all the time: my purse, jewellery, dishes, and the painting in the dining room, just to name a few. One of the things she gave me this Christmas was a book called “Girlfriends Guide” with all kind of different personal topics in it. When she gave it to me, she said, “I don’t know why I got this for you; we talk about everything in there already.” I’ll miss those talks so much.
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Me, Teresa & Lorie in December |
I wish I’d called her last weekend. I wish I’d brought her a frappucino as I drove through Rosenort two Fridays ago. I wish I had told her I’d recently started using the running app that she’d been ranting and raving about for years. I really, really wish we’d gone to
Here’s the link to Teresa’s full obituary.
(Comments are very welcome. Because of spam comments, I changed the settings - you can still comment anonymously without a Google ID, but your comment won't appear instantly because I need to approve it first to filter out the junk.)
(Comments are very welcome. Because of spam comments, I changed the settings - you can still comment anonymously without a Google ID, but your comment won't appear instantly because I need to approve it first to filter out the junk.)
9 comments:
Beautiful, Ellen.
Dear Ellen. I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to your cousin-friend. Shalom, dear friend.
Sheri-Lee
I was grinning ear to ear reading this, until I got to the end. Your regrets. Such small things to regret and yet it's those damn small things that mean so much.
It's hard not to have regrets when someone we love dies, but if we didn't, we'd never know just how important the small things in life really are. "Enjoy the little things in life for one day you will look back and realise they were the big things."
My regret is never having met Teresa. I am so glad you wrote this and linked us to her obituary. Teresa was an amazing person and she will truly live on in the hearts of those who knew and loved her. And she has inspired those who did not have the privilege of calling her "friend" to live life for the now, and in the fullest way possible.
Thank you, Ellen.
Thank you, Teresa.
xoxo
Sio.
I've been waiting for this post-to read your tribute to Teresa. Well written-great images of special person.
-Cousin Carolyn
Very well written Ellen. I guess I'll have to step it up a notch or two!! Next time you text me a question ill do more research. I was reading Sio's comment and while scrolling down I saw the bottom where it said:
Thank you, Teresa
Xoxo.
I didn't see Sio till I scrolled down farther.
Ohhh Ellen. What a beautiful Tribute to my sister Teresa. It's like your heart was speaking the words. I find it so comforting to hear about your friendship, and I am so thankful she had you as a friend. Teresa loved you soooo much!
-Pat
ps. Ellen also wrote Teresa's beautiful Obituary! What a Gift to us.-thank-you Ellen.
Good Job Ell,
You truely have a gift with words, you did such a great job both today and with the obit! I have been reminded also, to try to live with fewer regrets!
Thanks,
J
Perfect tribute, Ellen, and obituary, too. (I wondered if you'd written it.) I watched the funeral online this week; I wasn't going to, but I'm glad I did, because it truly did celebrate Teresa's life. She sparkled.
Keeping her family & you in thoughts & prayers.
Oh Ellen, what a beautiful tribute....my heart is so heavy for you...love you.
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