Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Bad day

How is it Wednesday night already?  I think Time has finally crossed over to my side and is starting to pick up the pace.

I was planning to write a nice long list of all the things that went wrong yesterday and today.  Nothing major; just lots of little things that added up into a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day (that’s a huge exaggeration, but it’s fun to say).  But then I realized that every single thing on the list is the epitome of a first world problem and I’d sound like a spoiled, privileged baby who has no regard or empathy for people with real problems. But then I decided it’s kind of therapeutic to complain about things and babies are always cute, even when they’re spoiled.  So after all that inner conflict, I’ve decided to proceed with some of my narcissistic whining.  Besides, I know Siobhan loves it when I’m negative.  I’ll add some positive disclaimers for those who dislike negativity (see, I do think of others).

I had a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, just to ask a few minor questions. My doctor is usually pretty prompt, but today I sat in the waiting room for ages while many people who came in after me were called in first. There is a prominent sign on the wall that says “There are three doctors seeing patients in this clinic, so if someone who arrived later than you gets called in before you, it’s probably for one of the other doctors.  So don’t bother us and just sit there until we tell you to get up.” The last sentence may have been stated slightly differently, but the meaning was clear.  After waiting 40 minutes – with the time to pick Neve up from school fast approaching – I finally went up to ask how long it was going to be. Turns out they didn’t have my name written down, even though I had checked in.  They put me in next, but it was still half an hour before it was my turn. When I finally saw the doctor, he could provide no information that I couldn't have googled myself. So it was all pretty useless.  (The positive: I have a doctor that I like, free health care, and friends that are always willing to pick Neve up when I’m late.)

After picking Neve up, we raced to swimming lessons. I run while she swims and then I weigh myself on the scale in the change room (I always say I don’t believe in scales so we don’t have one at home). With our Costa Rica trip slowly approaching, the thought of being seen without layers of sweaters and scarves and parkas has motivated me to try and shed some winter fat and tone up a bit. So for the past month, I have drastically reduced the number of carb servings I consume to be more in line with the recommendations in Canada’s Food Guide.  I’ve also been working out six days a week (running, workout/yoga DVDs, or sometimes both).  After five weeks, my grand total of my weight loss is …. two pounds.  Which is basically nothing, because my weight can vary that much in a day depending on fluid retention, etc.  When I weighed myself today, I was actually up from last week. Despite my skeptism of scales in the first place, my poor dietician had to spend a lot of time tonight talking me down from my disappointment. He said it’s much healthier to lose weight slowly because it will stay off longer and I won’t lose muscle mass and the weight will keep coming off in the long run, it’s a lifestyle change, blah blah blah.  Is it too much to ask to be a size 2 and have rock hard abs in five short weeks?  On the bright side, since I’ve been watching what I eat and exercising more regularly, I honestly feel better and less tired. I’m never hungry (which might be part of my problem) because I try to eat protein to fill me up. Anyway, it’s all a bit discouraging because I've been trying pretty hard and would love for the results to reflect my efforts.  (The positive: I am generally satisfied with my body and have come to terms with the fact that I will never be a size two given my age and the number of children I have produced, at least not without significantly more effort than I am willing to assert.)

Neve had a problem today as well, which ended up being my problem. At the beginning of the year, she overheard the first name of the student teacher (let’s call her Ms. L) in her class. This delighted Neve greatly and since she wanted to be the only child in her class that knew Ms. L’s name, she got Ms. L to agree not to tell anyone else.  However, after much badgering from all of Neve’s classmates, Ms. L broke down this afternoon and told everyone her first name. This betrayal was too much for Neve and as soon as I picked her up from my friend’s house after school, the sobbing began. Oh, grade three drama, how you drive me crazy. I had to listen to her go on and on and on about how Ms. L PROMISED not to tell anyone else and that now everyone would call her by her first name. I should have gotten an award for even pretending to care about that one. The last I heard, Neve is debating whether to give Ms. L a second chance or to write off that relationship for good.

Writing this down really was therapeutic; so much so that I can’t even remember what my other grievances were.  Oh, right – there was another incident yesterday when I dropped Neve off at gymnastics, then drove through downtown rush hour traffic to get Spencer to fencing before I had to rush back through traffic to pick Neve up.  As Spencer was getting out of the van, he realized he had forgotten some of his fencing equipment at home, without which he can’t fence.  Before we left home, I had asked him several times if he had everything and there were other circumstances involved that magnified my displeasure but let’s just say I freaked out and Spencer scampered out of the van to safety as fast as he could (luckily Dale was home from work early and was able to bring Spencer the missing fencing equipment). Later I wondered if I had overreacted, but the older the kids get, the less guilty I feel when I’m not a perfect mother. I figure their personalities are mostly shaped already, and besides, I kind of like the idea of them being a little scared of me sometimes.

I’ve gone on way too long and I need to go to bed so I can get up early to work out. I meant to post pictures of Chloe’s cheer competition and Spencer’s fencing competition this past weekend, but that will have to wait.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Hope it's a good one for all of us.


Anonymous said...

yay! negative blog!! wahoo!!

Ok, I don't REALLY like when you have bad days, but you are just so funny in describing them. And it does make me aware that we are all in this together - wanting "better bodies", over reacting to children forgetting things (although I don't think you overreacted. Well, at least not from a reader's point of view. Kids not being responsible for their stuff makes me INSANE).

I bet you are building muscle just as fast as you are losing weight so ignore the numbers and just flaunt your stuff in your bikini. I am going through the same thing right now. I weigh more than I EVER have and know that I definitely gained some pounds while away (I was SHOCKED to come back from Hawaii and have my pyjama pants that I left here be too snug. Pyjama Pants!!!) . But I have been eating really well and doing more yoga and weight training and STILL weigh more than I ever have but I feel great so I can no longer think I am just getting fat!

Grade three drama - oy, Ellen. That's all I can say but know that I am sympathizing with you big time.

How many more sleeps???



Corinna said...

You definitely have a knack for making a bad day funny. I liked your whiny baby comment.
Any grumpiness or bad days can be blamed entirely on the weather. I have been doubting my sanity for months now, but had one sunshiney walk and realized it's 100% weather related. Nothing bad will ever happen when it's nicer out. Like when you're in Costa Rica. Yay!

Anonymous said...

Nice to hear other people have to deal with some misery as well. Sorry. I was gonna work out and eat better for a trip we are going on as well, but……i did a few workouts…….ate some peas……then i decided i would workout at the resort a couple times and call it good. Not like I'll know anybody out there! Jim

Anonymous said...

Jim, of all the yummy veggies you could choose....WHY would you choose peas? Bleck. Like your attitude though!

Poor Neve. That is traumatic. Hee.