Tuesday, June 09, 2015

Another sad blog post

A week ago today, a boy was stabbed to death at Chloe’s high school during lunch hour. Today is his funeral. I promise this blog won’t become The Blog of Sadness and Grief, but I felt like I should mention this boy. Brett Bourne was Chloe’s age and used to go to Kelvin until last year. (Chloe knew who he was, but didn’t know him personally.) I cut out his obituary from the Free Press and put it on my fridge.  There are so many rumours floating around that it’s impossible to know what really happened. All I know for sure is that Brett is dead and another teenage boy has been charged with second degree murder. It’s such a sad, tragic situation for all involved and my heart breaks for his family and friends, especially his mother. Whatever path his life was on right now, he was once a sweet little boy who loved trains and he didn’t deserve to bleed to death on a school yard in front of his peers. Read his obituary here.

I know nothing except rumours about the accused, but he was also someone’s innocent little boy. I can’t imagine what his family is going through right now. It's just all such a nightmare.

Chloe was in a lunch hour math review class when the school went into lockdown. There was no teacher in the class at the time, which made it a little traumatic.* Just before the lockdown started, one of her friends came into the class all freaked out because she’d seen part of the fight and called 911. So at least they knew what the situation was and didn’t have to worry that they were in danger. When the lockdown was lifted, Chloe had to go straight to the gym to write her provincial English exam. Never mind sending the children home after being at school during the first Winnipeg high school murder in 27 years. Let’s make them write an exam! But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, kids are strange, amazing creatures. If people around them – i.e., the teachers – are acting like things are normal, the kids just trust that things are okay and carry on. That’s probably not the greatest way to deal with things long-term, but sometimes you just have to focus on the present. Obviously some kids are having a tougher time coming to terms with it than others, but it’s a tough ending to the school year for everyone.

So today I’m thinking of Brett's family as they bury their boy. I'm praying that they will have peace and comfort and faith that they’ll see him again one day.

*I’d like to point out that despite the tense and uncertain situation, Chloe made no attempt to call her mother. I didn’t even know about the situation until Chloe got home from school at 3:45. (She’s very practical: she said she had to write her exam and then she thought it would just make more sense to tell me in person when she got home.)


Anonymous said...

Just no words! Thank you for this beautifully written and eloquent post. And so thankful to hear you did not have to hear your child's school was in lockdown and not know where she was.

And thanks for the little sidebar that made me laugh.


Anonymous said...

Thanks Ellen for this reminder. It's easy to vilify victims and accused in the rumours and stories that are going around. It's a form of coping -- not allowing ourselves to think about them as people and not allowing ourselves to think about how it could be our kid either now or in the future; how our parenting and our kids' friends and our kids' other influences can spiral to chaos and how we have some responsibility to our kids and their friends and their friends' families. I cannot even imagine Brett's family and friends trying to struggle through the hows and whys. We'll be praying too.

Give Chloe a hug for me today. Tell her I'm proud of her for who she is.