Thursday, September 24, 2015
Every day ... ?
This perfectly sums up my life these days.
The mornings are dark and cool, all the responsibilities and pressure of work and school and life are in full swing and my bed is so cozy and warm. It's a struggle every morning. EVERY single morning. I would like to put periods after each of those words to show how emphatic I am, but I'm not into that kind of punctuation. So just believe me when I say I am not a morning person at the best of times and at this time of year, it's off the charts. I hate fall. I hate September. I hate October (sorry, Maddie Forbes). Don't even get me started on November.
Hopefully you haven't come to my blog looking for positivity and cheer today. If that's exactly what you came here for, click here or here.
No hugs here. Just lots of whining about how I wish it was summer. I just can't let go.
Neve has been on edge lately. Her moods are volatile and she's cranky and argumentative and relentless. You can actually see the dark cloud above her head. Maybe that's just dust; my house is a mess. Or a swarm of bees. If I was a bee, I'd attack her. Well actually I'd be kind of scared; she is a force to be reckoned with these days. We all try to avoid her as much as possible. Dale and I argue about who has to tuck her in at night. This probably doesn't help her mood. (Have you seen this? I find 90% of viral videos are stupid but I love this girl so much!). I attribute Neve's dark mood to anxiety about her school work. She puts pressure on herself that her work must be perfect and she greatly overthinks things. I'm all for doing your best and all that but sometimes if your best causes too much stress and takes too long, just do a mediocre job and it will still be pretty good. And your mother will not have gone insane. Oh well, I guess it's my cross to bear right now. My goal is to sit down with her and give her 20 minutes of my undivided attention every day so she can talk out her crazies. That doesn't sound unreasonable, but 20 minutes is a huge commodity these days and being patient and understanding and attentive are not things that come easy to me. Maybe I'll start with two minutes.
School seems to be moving along okay. Spencer was unhappy with some of his second semester electives, but was warned that they are difficult to change. He wrote a letter to the vice principal with persuasive arguments including "my gifts will be wasted in Electronics class" and it appears to have worked. They let him change both electives and one of the new classes was his top choice. Sometimes you just have to ask. Or beg.
I've been wanting to freshen up our bedroom with a new coat of paint for quite some time. I was suddenly inspired by Rob & Gab painting their entire house, and Jim & Sabrina painting their living room (3 times before they were happy with the paint colour!) and having it all back to normal in one weekend. Our bedroom is not big, so I gathered my energy and my supplies and tackled it on the weekend. I haven't painted for a while and I'd forgotten how long all the patching and sanding and priming takes. We painted the ceiling because it had been done badly the last time and had bugged me for years. It's still not perfect and there are some unexplained streaks that still bother me. I may try to fix it but sometimes that makes it worse.
One wall in our room is plaster and was covered with wallpaper when we moved in. I eventually stripped it off and realized the wallpaper was there for a reason. I tried to smooth out the bumps and gouges and painted over it, but I've never been happy with it. When the light shines on it a certain way, it looks like the surface of the moon. So I decided to cover it with a paintable wall liner. It goes on like wallpaper and since we'd done one little wall in our dining room, I thought we were pros. We're not. The paper wasn't pre-pasted like our dining room wall, so we had to apply paste to the back. Working with that made everything sticky and messy. We got two strips up before we ran out of paste. The seams did not match up well. I have to go buy more paste, finish covering the wall, then prime and paint. It's a good lesson that some things are worth paying people for.
Besides working on that, the weekend ahead looks promising. Tonight's dinner is cooking in my crockpot as we speak (yay me for staggering out of bed at 6:40 this morning to get that going), the weather is supposed to be warm and sunny, and obligations and plans are at a minimum. I may even have a day off from getting out of bed. Now if only someone would offer to take Neve for the weekend ... just kidding (sort of) - we are actually very fond of her, and I'm sure she's looking forward to the end of this phase as much as we are.